New website!

I'm excited to announce a brand new website, and thus some changes in this blog.

Here is the latest entry on my blog, which is now located on my website (rather than the blogspot address). www.threerivershorsetraining.com   Please make sure that you head over there, and to facebook, to receive my updates from now on!

----------www.threerivershorsetraining.com

Welcome to the new 3R website! I'm so happy to have celebrated my fifth anniversary with Three Rivers Horse Training and all of the wonderful horses and humans that have joined my 3R family in this time. I decided that as an anniversary gift to myself and to the business, a new website was in order!

When I was writing a business plan and designing a website for Three Rivers Horse Training in 2008 and and 2009, I was just hoping to create a business where I could ride horses all day and make enough money to feed myself. I knew that my aspirations as a horse person were high enough that I needed to be working horses all day, every day, to begin to make a dent in my goals. The best way I knew how to do this was to start working horses for the public. So I took a leap of faith and started a business. I created a website that felt like me, felt like the beautiful Grey Cliffs Ranch, felt like Montana, and hopefully felt like something everyone with a horse might like!

Well I have been so lucky, because it worked. Five years later I have ridden A LOT of horses. I have learned more than I ever could have imagined I could learn in just five years. My aspirations are only greater now, and I know I better keep doing this!

But a couple things happened that I wasn't expecting. The first, was I got to know myself in ways I didn't see coming. I have been so inspired by the horses and the humans around me, that I have really begun to learn who I am, both in and out of the round pen. In doing so, I learned what I have to offer this world and the horses in it, and I also learned what I am not. That is one reason why I felt so strongly I needed a new "look" for my business. One that wasn't that of me five years ago, just wanting to convince people to hire me. But of me now, a person who is truly and utterly in love with the horse (I thought I was five years ago! I was wrong, because THIS is love. Hopefully five years from now I can say the same). I know that I am not the trainer for everyone, because with hiring me you get a passion and a love that is a little bit...intense. I now know I am incapable of compromise when it comes to this love and so I need the right clients around me that love their horses as much as I do.

And this leads me to the second magical thing that has happened. Three Rivers Horse Training became something separate from me. It became not just a business, but a feeling. I love when I'm traveling at a clinic and a group of us are chatting and someone talks about the 3R page on Facebook and what is happening there. Or how they heard Alex in their ear when they were working a horse or talking to their husband or playing with their kids. As if somehow I, the person who writes this blog, and Alex and 3R are not all the same thing! But we aren't. Because this has taken on a life of its own. This business, this life, this philosophy, is alive and well at my barn in Three Forks living with my boarders while I am in Arizona. It is alive in Billings where there is a huge contingent of 3R riders who love and support each other in ways I find remarkable, even when I haven't had a clinic there in a while. It lives in the workplaces of all of my clients who tell me stories about how they have changed how they deal with co-workers after they reflected on their horsemanship. It is in relationships between friends and spouses that are reconsidering how they treat each other based on their work with the horses. It is in the parenting I hear people talk about, and how they are considering how to raise their children in a thoughtful and engaged manner after becoming so committed to that with their horses.

It is truly remarkable and such an honor to see this thing become something separate from me. I can't begin to express how thankful I am to have heard the stories I've heard, to have been a part of relationships, both human and equine, as they grow, and in turn to have been shaped and inspired myself.

So I hope that this website, and the changes I am making to structure my business, can reflect all of these moments and blessings. I hope that business can reflect life and life can reflect learning and learning can reflect horses. Because there seems to me nothing more pure and flawed and lovely than working with a horse!

Thank you all for making the last five years the best five years of my life. I'm so excited to see what is next.

Forward

One of the projects I have given my intern Bree is to figure out how to get a horse to walk trot and canter with no flee, without using her legs or saddle strings or any sort of driving force. I started her on this project with a filly thatI had done the foundation work and first four rides on, and told her to figure out how to teach this horse to lope. This project was as much for Bree's learning as the horse, and of course I have no problem using aids, but this concept I think is really life changing.

She did it! And the changes in her horsemanship have been huge (plus, that filly is riding like a pro!). Any ideas how she did it?

Here is Bree on a different horse, Grace, working on something similar out in the field.

Experience

I have been thinking lately about what the foundation to my horsemanship is, or is becoming.  What is the core understanding that drives each decision I make with a horse?  In the simplest terms, what does everyone need to start thinking about before they begin this type of journey with a horse?

I think it is the understanding that the horse has an experience that is not the same as my experience.  

When I first read this sentence, it sounds utterly ridiculous.  Of course my horse has an experience that is not my experience.  They are ALIVE after all!  But when I think about how horses exist in this world, what they are for, how they are treated, and the decisions we have all made at one point or another, I realize that this concept is incredibly profound.

Horses are generally seen in terms that are relative to us.  A horse has a good day if we enjoy the ride.  A horse is well built if he can perform what we want him to perform.  A horse has earned her keep if she has done the job we have given her that day.  A horse is brave if he goes past something that we think would scare him.  A horse is smart if she accomplishes the task we provide.  A horse is stupid or stubborn if he doesn’t want to do what we think is important. 

But, maybe that wasn’t their experience at all.  Maybe the horse had a bad day because of that ride, you just enjoyed it because they chose to cope.  What if a horse has trouble with how he chews his food or has aches and pains we don’t know about, but because he wins ribbons, we say he is well built.  Perhaps a horse that is held captive inside fences deserves her dinner whether or not she goes for a ride.  Maybe that thing didn’t take much bravery to go past, because it wasn’t very scary at all and he understood what it was, and that’s why he wasn’t afraid.  It’s possible that the horse is not particularly smart, and while she can accomplish the task she’s told to do if given very few options, if she were left to figure out how to manage her own decisions, she would struggle.  Maybe that horse isn’t stubborn and stupid, but actually very smart, and doesn’t want to do something that makes no sense to him.

Horses have their own lives.  They are forced to participate in ours, but they have their own experiences, own ideas, heartbreaks, successes, worries and moments of both sheer brilliance and complete confusion.  It seems so simple, but to take the moment and think, I wonder what this horse’s experience is of this moment, can radically change how you might respond.  Suddenly, that horse who won’t go isn’t stubborn, but worried, and petting that behavior seems a lot more practical than kicking it.  Sometimes noticing that a horse is involved in something else in the world, rather than being haltered, even though they are standing still to be caught, changes how quickly you do it. 

The realization that a horse’s experience is not the same as our experience may be the most obvious and life changing realization of our horsemanship journey.  I think it is so profound that it cannot help but change every interaction from then on.  To separate our experience from that of the horse brings an ability to empathize with their feelings, even if those feelings are inconvenient for our plans and goals.  

For me, it changes the start point and the end point.  I start by considering the horse, and end wherever that takes me.  I have had to let go of a lot of the things I loved about riding a horse that did not locate the horse in the moment, and find new (and greater) appreciation for things that do.  I think I find pleasure in smaller things than I used to.  I think I laugh more around the horses than I used to.  I think my understanding and appreciation for the horse has grown in ways I didn’t expect, and I have come to realize how sophisticated and funny and incredible these animals really are.  I thought I already knew all of that, but I didn’t.  I’m excited to share many more experiences with many more horses, and I’m sure my love for them will only continue to grow.

First time feeling.

Last week while I was sitting on a filly for the first time, I got to talking with the photographer watching about what she observed as the horse taking comfort when I picked up a rein. That we had already established a feel between us, so even though me being on her was new, she was easily able to find comfort in me despite my new position above her. I've been thinking about how this has changed in me as I've started colts over the years. I now spend less time getting them okay with me being on them, and more time getting them to feel like I have something to offer them. Being able to get on them, having a soft feel between us, helping them to understand how to think in front of them, steer, change speeds, etc, and supporting them when something is scary, just happens after that.

At the end of a first ride (or, at the end of any session, really), I want the horse to be brighter eyed and more confident with me around and in themselves than when we started the day.

Here I am leaning over to give an enthusiastic rub to this filly, for bravely allowing me to climb up on her. It never ceases to amaze me that they let me do this, and no matter how many colts I start, I get such a kick out of it every time I put a first ride on a horse. And, it's certainly not an adrenaline rush, because it's usually pretty boring!

Intensity without worry?

Today is my last day in Utah, and over the last few days I've had quite the introduction to what's going on in the dog world right now. I have been surrounded by a huge variety of trainers, and learning about the various schools of thought that are popular at the moment. I've never thought about dog training in such a structured way, because it is not my livelihood, so it's been wonderful to really immerse myself among so many trainers.

Last night at a BBQ, some bite dogs were pulled out and I got to watch their trainers working them. I certainly was surprised to see some of the softest moments I've seen occur with these animals. That was not what I expected. I have very little exposure to sporting dogs of any sort, but what I have seen in a general sense has been a level of chaos and worry in a very driven dog that makes me rather uncomfortable. The same feeling I get when watching most competitive horses, in any equine sport. The animals are often amazingly obedient, but have to be pretty upset inside to perform at the intensity level desired.

But the dogs I saw yesterday had been trained by some very thoughtful trainers, and I loved seeing the moments where the dogs could be engaged and certainly intense, but absolutely present. It wasn't worry that was driving them. 

What's so interesting about interest?

It seems that all the time, I’m thinking about and discussing what we are trying to cultivate in a horse when working with them.  I say things like “directing the thought” and “being soft” and “taking an interest.”  But what does that really look like?????

Tonight my husband, Tye, came in with a story that really struck me as what this philosophy is really all about.  So I will brag about his creativity for a moment!  I’ve been giving Tye regular lessons with his young mule, Slim, who is about ready to get going under saddle.  Slim, however, would really just like to party all the time.  Who can blame him?  Tye’s recent challenge has been that Slim would prefer not going back into the pen after a session (Tye may be the only person in equine history to have an animal that will run to him to be caught, go wherever he likes, and then throw a fit when it’s time to go back in the large pen with the other horses!).  There is green grass and way more to do outside his paddock than inside it, so Slim wonders what the point of going home really is?

As anyone who has ever played with a mule before knows, when a mule gets a thought, it gets a BIG thought.  And if you match that big thought with any sort of muscle, well, good luck to you.  Tye spends his days with tractors and hammers, and was unpleasantly surprised to find that Slim didn’t really care how hard he pulled on the lead.  Slim was staying at the party, not going home.  Last weekend, I demonstrated to Tye how I would handle this.  I spent time getting Slim’s thought to go forward, regardless of what happened with his feet.  Every time his eyes got bright, his ears went forward, and he showed a glimmer of interest in the right direction, he got a pet.  The take home message for Tye was how little strength any of this required on my part, because I was cultivating the thought, not the feet.  Before you know it, Slim walked quietly and purposefully through the green grass and into his pen.  I think Tye could have killed me!

Instead of domestic dispute, though, Tye thought on it.  When he next went to practice the reentering the pen, he said there were a few times he almost got in a fight, but was able to work his way through it.  But then something magical happened (at least magical to me…I don’t think Tye or Slim would describe it as such!).  Tye said he was reaching a point where he wasn’t sure what to do.  So he swung the big gate shut to take Slim for a little walking break.  When the gate swung shut, it bounced a bit off the post, and caused a vibration, which caught Slim’s attention.  Slim became very curious about the vibration, and was looking right at the gate Tye wanted him to go through! So, in a stroke of what I would call genius, Tye pet him.  He asked for him to go towards that interest, which Slim did.  He opened the gate a bit, and Slim got worried about going through, so Tye shut it and caused it to vibrate.  He repeated this.  Each time Slim got worried about going through the gate and leaving the party side of the fence, Tye would vibrate the gate, Slim would get interested, and Tye would pet him.  He said before he knew it, Slim was walking through the gate just as nice as can be! No fighting necessary.

I think this is such a valuable lesson.  It shows that none of this situation had to do with Slim’s feet, or Tye’s strength.  Just where Slim was interested, and if he was allowed to pursue that interest.  Tye did exactly what I had done. He cultivated an interest until Slim wanted to pursue it.  While I made a bit of noise or put a bit of a feel on the rope, Tye just slammed a gate so it vibrated.  No difference.  They all caught Slim’s attention.  Tye probably was smarter about the situation than I was, because he didn’t have to work so hard to catch his attention, or worry much about timing, because he noticed something that did it easily! So here, Tye used the mule’s ability to have a big thought to his advantage!

When we are working our horses (or mules) it is so important to remember that if they wanted to, they can do everything we ask of them.  But why would they want to? Just like Slim wanted to stay out in party-land (i.e: not his paddock), every moment a horse is alive they have feelings, desires, and ideas.  Why fight that? Isn’t that what we love about them? I know that the reason I choose to ride horses and not a motorcycle is because I absolutely love the emotions, the tries, and the intelligence that radiates from a horse.  It is simply a matter of making the ideas we have, their ideas.  We have to direct their thoughts and change their feelings, so that they can take an interest in what we would like them to take an interest in.  This isn’t something that can be done with force, because this is something that is willingly given by the horse.  You can’t force me to be interested in something.  You can force me to do something, but not to be interested in it.  I have to have a reason, a motivation, a desire, in order to be truly interested, and not simply obedient. 

I don’t know why the vibrating gate was so fascinating to Slim, and I hope in the future if Tye continues to cultivate this, the gate won’t need to be there.  Slim will decide that whatever Tye suggests is interesting, truly is interesting, just because he trusts that Tye knows what he’s talking about in that department.  That’s really what my goal is every time I’m with an animal.  For them to feel confident enough in our relationship that if I suggest they take an interest in something, they are excited to do it, and their effort is genuine.  

Our animals must freely give their thoughts to us, because they cannot be taken.  So it is up to us to figure out how to be important enough, interesting enough, and trustworthy enough, to deserve them.

Here's Slim.  Taking an interest.

Dog Life

Took a little break from the horses yesterday afternoon and got to work this troubled pit bull that is in training with Kelly Engel over at Know Thy Dog training. Here a couple shots where I am working on getting him to let go of a thought and pick up one of mine. He has a really hard time with this and freezes with very heavy thoughts. When one of these heavy thoughts is interrupted in a big way...well that's when it gets exciting. This situation is very much like many horses that buck, and I handled it similarly, though with some dog specific moments.

Please note he is safely muzzled. This was great because he and I could work through those troubled moments safely

A Motley Crew

I have quite a collection of scrappy horses of my own. Here are my three rejects. All free horses...but far from cheap! In the lead is my black mare from California, ears pinned as usual despite clearly controlling the entire round of playful activities with these boys. She came into my life with a lot of behavioral issues and a strange disease called temporohyoid osteoarthropathy. She and I have been through a lot and she has taught me more than one horse should be able to! The buckskin is my wonderful one eyed lesson horse, Keller, who came to me due to his severe uveitis symptoms, that caused the eye loss and the compromised other eye. He is my loyal business partner and I'm so thankful for what he patiently teaches my students! And picking up the rear is Bob, my troubled yet charming Midwestern bred Saddlebred that definitely makes me smile every day, and the barn would feel empty without.

I think I get more pleasure from seeing these unlikely rejects whose lives could have turned out so much differently, enjoy an afternoon loose and happy than I do from riding any horse around. For me, the riding is just an activity to do with a horse, not the point of having them around. Watching them live happy, healthy lives and loving it when they choose to come running over when they see me, because they are genuinely looking forward to a scratch, is such a great feeling.

The two photos with some green grass are from yesterday's rainy day. We all woke up a little less playful when we saw the white stuff everywhere!

Belated Mother's Day Post

For Mother's Day.

You know you are surrounded by animal lovers when recently at a clinic of mine, one woman was talking about how she had recently adopted a baby. One of the first questions in response was, "What kind of baby?!" And the new mom answered without hesitation, "A baby human!"

Happy Mother's Day! Whether your babies have four legs or two legs, your love and caring is appreciated.

The Weight of the World

I was recently reading an article about canine training and the evolution of both dogs and popular training methods, and something struck me about how the article defined a dog versus a wolf.  One of the genetic traits that the article pointed to that separated the dogs we have in our homes from their closely related wolf ancestors was that a dog faced with a problem will instinctually look to a human for support, even if there are other dogs around.
    I think this is true of domesticate bred horses as well. I don’t know if the science exists, but I certainly see this try all of the time in horses.  A horse that has little to no human experience will still engage with a person if given the chance, and when presented a problem will quickly turn towards the human as a solution if they are left the room to search.  When I think of how powerful this is, how much hardwired trust and interest there must be for this to occur, it is staggering to me, because with all great powers come great responsibilities.  What does it mean that there are animals in this world that have a faith in the human so deep inside of them, it is literally written into their genes?  What does it mean for us as humans interacting with these critters? 
    It inspires me.  It inspires me to try to be there the first time, and every time, they look to me.  I want to be a better communicator, so that I have something to offer back when they offer me their trust.  I want to be ready for this profound challenge, so that their faith will grow in me.  I often think about how I hope I can make it clear to the animal I’m handling, that their only job is to watch me.  My job, is to worry about everything else.  This is a tricky subject to navigate.  How to be clear and fair, and demonstrate that I am worthy of their trust, but not slide down that slippery slope where our relationship shifts from one of an engaged and interested animal, to one that is without emotions, and is simply obedient.  But, if this engagement is there, and cultivated, what a relief it would be, it could be, to have someone take the weight of the world off their shoulders!  How clear and easy it must feel to know that, under any circumstance, they should follow their domesticated instincts and look to the human, and the human will never fail, so there is no reason to worry about life when with a person.
    It also intimidates me, because I worry about what will happen when I miss those requests for guidance.  What happens when a core belief is disproven?  Can the animal forgive and ask again, or will they now always have a bit of doubt in them that wasn’t there when they were born, telling them that they might actually be on their own?  I think about this all the time, because I don’t want to be paralyzed by this thought.  Over and over, I see that animals do both of these things; they forgive, and they also retain that sliver of doubt.  For some reason, in most their capacity to forgive seems to outweigh all else when given a reason.  When I watch someone present to their animal that they are willing to take on the weight of the world, so that the animal may just live in the moment with the person, no matter how many years their roles have been reversed, it almost never fails that the animal accepts that offer.  So I suppose the responsibility is always, and completely, on us to know how to make that offer clearly, because the animal is always just waiting for it.

Sensory Overload

My husband, Tye, and I were recently in Chicago, where I grew up.  He is a fifth generation Montanan, and whenever we travel to a city, we inevitably begin discussing how differently our early experiences cause us to experience the world.  From experiencing time and distance to processing and filtering information.
    Whenever we talk about this, the last point, filtering information, makes me think about horses and the process I witness so many go through while in training with me.  Tye has always noted that I have what he views to be an unreasonable ability to block out things that are not important to me at that moment.  A television that is on but I’m not watching, a change in my usual view while driving between the barn and the house, and so on.  Tye on the other hand, takes in so much sensory information, that I kid with him that he needs to learn that not everything is about him!  Or, at least not important to him.  We credit these differences to the environment in which we were raised.  I spent time in an urban environment, where if one takes in all of the sensory information available (lights, noises, smells, etc) one would never get to sleep and would be overwhelmed all the time.  Tye grew up in a quieter, more rural environment, where there wasn’t a lot of miscellaneous noise.  If a car drove by, it was likely it was coming to see him or his neighbors, not just through traffic.  And certainly a siren going by at night was reason to wake up.
    I’ve been living in a range of somewhat to extremely rural environments now for going on eight years.  In this time, I have learned that I should try not to filter so much information out, because that causes me to miss things.  However, I’m still very good at blocking out the insane amount of birds that live in the rafters of my indoor arena, and I still miss most of what Tye notices.  Tye, however, hasn’t spent much time in a city.  When we visit one, he feels overwhelmed by sensory information, and after a few days feels drained and exhausted.  It all feels important to him, even though much of it isn’t.
    What could this possibly have to do with horses? A lot, but in this article I am going to specifically discuss the shut down horse and the spooky horse, which I believe are on the same spectrum.  A shut down horse is not taking in any information.  They have figured out that the best way to survive is to tolerate and not to engage.  What people often think of as a spooky horse, is taking in too much information, as they are not confident and centered enough to know what matters and what does not.  However, I find they are the same, as a shut down horse will spook violently when something does penetrate their consciousness (they can’t block it out any more) because they weren’t processing everything leading up to it, so it was a surprise that they don’t know what to do with.  It’s just that what most people describe to me as a spooky horse is a horse that spooks in rapid succession, and so I just read this as it takes less to penetrate their consciousness, but they are still just as shut down, and not filtering information properly.
    To put it another way.  A shut down horse (in the classical, bombproof-until-he-wasn’t sense) is me growing up in an urban environment.  I learned that taking everything in was dangerous, and didn’t make me feel good, so I learned to only let certain things in.  But, if something really out of the ordinary happened, I could be very surprised!  For instance, if there were a tree down in the road, Tye might notice it a quarter mile away because the skyline wasn’t quite right, I might not notice it until I ran it over with my car.  That thump would certainly be startling!  This skill of shutting down and shutting out is a great form of self preservation.  Until it’s not.
    The horse that is spooking every step at even the leaf fluttering, is Tye in a city.  He doesn’t realize that the leaf is not important to his life at that moment, and responds as if it has the same importance, and offers the same threat, as if a lion stepped over the hill.  This isn’t necessarily because the leaf is scary (just like Tye is not actually overwhelmed every time he hears a car drive by), but because the state of mind is not calm and confident enough to be able to notice the leaf, and decide that it isn’t important or a threat at that moment.  This is why flooding a spooking horse won’t solve the problem.  It will simply push the horse a little bit further towards the shut down end of the spectrum, by giving it one more thing it learns to block out.  It is also why horses spook at seemingly unimportant things.  It has nothing to do with the thing they are spooking at, but at the mindset they having while processing it (or not processing it).  It’s worth noting, Tye’s pretty nervous in the city, so when all this information comes in, none of it seems comforting.  Not unlike a horse that isn’t wholly okay with being ridden or led by a person.
    Often I see horses go through this spectrum during training that make it seem like they are getting worse before getting better.  An extremely shut down horse might move towards the spooky end of the spectrum as they begin to wake up.  This is like if I, being shut down from a city, then decided to consciously notice more while outside of the city, and suddenly was paranoid of everything because my practiced filters were removed.  Quite literally, I regularly see horses that are considered bombproof by their owners become hyper-vigilant spooky messes after a few days of training.  This could be very discouraging to someone watching, but the first time that bombproof horse (who, obviously wasn’t always bombproof or wouldn’t be in training) spooks unnecessarily at a bird I am generally elated.  FINALLY! They noticed the bird.
    Now comes the next step.  Taking this now awake horse, and teaching them to be confident enough in themselves (and in me, as the person asking them to go somewhere) to know what is important sensory information, and what is not, and not to panic when something comes up that is unexpected.  What we want is a horse somewhere in between me and Tye.  A horse that notices most everything, so they aren’t taken by surprise easily, but isn’t so overly sensitive to the world that they worry about things that don’t matter.  This takes a certainly amount of comfort, self awareness, and certainty about who they are (and who we are!) to achieve.  I know exactly what to block out and what to take in while I’m doing something I know well and am confident doing, and at those moments I’m not victim to becoming unnecessarily shut down like I might walking through Times Square.  The same goes for Tye, who when he’s doing something he is confident in and feels good about doing, is not worried about every little sound, as suddenly he can filter appropriately.
    Obviously, if it is this hard to achieve in two fairly functioning humans, this isn’t an easy thing to achieve with a horse.  But, the more confident they are in themselves, what is expected of them, how best to interact with their people and their world, and the more options they feel they have at their disposal, the less a horse will need to succumb to one of these other coping mechanisms that are not nearly as healthy.  And certainly not as fun to ride!

A letter.

When she was checking out my updated website, one of my clients came upon this photo I took while riding her mare up in the hills above the barn. It inspired her to write me this letter, which she so graciously offered to share with the world. It is one of the most meaningful letters I have received, and I think her experiences will resonate with others.

This picture means so much to me. To some it will just look like a beautiful photo looking over the barn from the rider’s view, but to me it is like seeing a picture of my mare standing on an Olympic pedestal about to get her medal. You and I remember our first weeks with her, and our very real worry that she would not be able to be trained. Her level of fear was on a level above a mustang who had lived wild , her first two weeks she stood wary and untrusting, shaking like a leaf in the corner of a paddock deathly afraid of a rope gripped and paralyzed with fear. The journey to arrive at this picture has been such a welcome distraction from the challenges in my life this last year and a half. I feel like for once it was not something in my control at all, I had to let go of my fears too, and trust to go on a journey without a map and with a copilot, you Alex. My mom’s terminal illness rocked me to the core, and made me realize that I needed to stop waiting for “the perfect time, the perfect horse” to have a relationship with horses again. I had a wonderful teen gelding with ringbone who was healing but he was not a trail horse, he was my reminder that having a horse in my life filled a missing piece that had been absent for 18 years since I had an accident where I nearly died, and then life was busy going to school, working in pediatrics, having babies………and did I mention, ignoring the fact that I had almost died in an accident. Denial is a very strong coping mechanism in my life, not healthy but survival ready. My accident and serious head injury while riding when I was 18 was a lurking memory of the real risks involved in this decision to get back in to riding seriously, and I knew that I wanted to be safe, and that I also wanted a horse who needed a home. In the end this horse picked me, somehow I found myself wandering through a herd of 60 head of 4-6 yr olds who had not been handled. Did I mention that denial was a strong presence in my life? But they needed jobs. I had driven by them on my way to bring my daughter McCall to lessons at Alex’s barn and thought they were beautiful and wondered what their story was. Then the herd reduction sale happened and I thought I would just go take a “look”, I of course was drawn to the beautiful chocolate geldings with flowing creamy manes and tails. Alex correctly advised me that she could help me find a better fit for my journey back into horsemanship than an horse who had not been handled. Did I mention that stubborn and denial are strong characteristics in my life? Oh yeah and a challenge? I ignored Alex’s, my good friends, my mother’s and my husband’s, advice and brought one of my very best friends who also happens to be a veterinarian and as horse crazy as I am to look. The horse that kept following me around (now I know she was looking for treats and the pushiest girl in the bunch , was a smoky black mare, I was adamant I wasn’t getting a mare. I went back four times, every time she found me every time until the last visit I thought about other horses. Her journey to Alex’s place was not far in distance but has been a solar system in her awareness of a world with human interaction and learning about letting go of fear, and over all developing trust and partnership and respect for other horses and humans. We are still on a journey, she is almost always light, and is growing in her willingness to be soft. It has been a true test of commitment and patience. She has a job now, and she still looks up at the hills above the pasture with a wild eye most days. In the end I know now why she picked me, I needed her to teach me, I would not have learned near as much with any other horse. That is why this picture of her with her ears pricked forward willing to go for a ride in the hills, calm, soft, brought a tear to my eye. Thank you Alex, for healing my horse and my heart.

Down to business! 2014 updates

Well, it's a week into 2014 so it's time to get down to business! If you are considering training this year, make sure you read the rest of this!

My updated website is live, and you will find tweaks all over the place, from photos to text to testimonials. Please pay special attention to the updated 2014 rates as they do reflect some changes. www.threerivershorsetraining.com
*thanks to my web guy, Miguel, for all his hard work on the site. If you need a web guy, he's your man and I'll put you in touch!*

A reminder about how booking a 2014 spot works because I do things a little different than a lot of trainers: I will begin working my way down the list of full training horses in the first week of March this year, weather dependent of course. As always, I ask for a $50 deposit to hold a spot. Deposits place you on the list, first come first serve. Because I like to spend as much time as each horse and owner pair needs, I don't guarantee when your horse will arrive to training, only what number on the list you are. I will usually give you an estimate for when your spot will come up (I'm generally pretty close) and then two weeks notice for the confirmed date of arrival. This keeps things fair, and prioritizes progress over schedule. As always, I work to customize every training program to the specific horse and owner.

I HIGHLY recommend getting a deposit in ASAP if you are hoping for a March or April spot, as history shows that these months are pretty close to full by the end of January. If you have a deposit in with me already that was a hold over from late fall due to cold temps, you will automatically be placed at the top of the list.

**Spots are only guaranteed with a deposit to hold them**

Please don't hesitate to contact me with questions about training, or to set up an evaluation this winter. That's a great idea if you are on the fence about training, or want to know exactly what you are getting with me. I posted about that a while back, and will make sure to re-post that again soon.

I'm so excited for a great 2014!!!!

www.threerivershorsetraining.com

Being soft together.

A question came in regarding lightness and softness that I think is a good one.  I’ve done my best to answer it below.  I welcome further conversation and follow up questions to keep the topic going!

Question: It seems to me that once you have lightness that seems to stay, but softness I am constantly having to work on.  Is that the way it goes? Or, if I become insistent enough will my horse get so with me that the softness will eventually always be there when the two of us are doing something whether it be on the ground or from the saddle?

First, I guess I should recap what I see as the difference between lightness and softness.  This is certainly not a concept original to me.  Harry Whitney, Ross Jacobs, and others talk and write about this all the time. But, this is my take on the whole discussion.  Lightness is a physical reaction, where as softness is a mental response and emotional feeling.  To me, lightness usually is a horse avoiding pressure somehow, maybe the pressure of the line, the whip, the leg, or the ask in general, by staying physically ahead of it, without really changing a thought or feeling.  As anyone who has been chased knows, you can stay ahead of pressure/contact without feeling good about it, or thinking about what you are doing!  In fact, if you are simply staying ahead of pressure, you are probably thinking only about the pressure in order to react!  Softness, however, is a response.  Softness means that the horse has let go of one thought and picked up the one presented, completely committed, and made whatever physical changes were necessary to make the mental and emotional shift.  You can have lightness without softness, but if you have softness you will necessarily have lightness.  This is because, a horse can feel bad, tight, worried, etc in order to stay ahead of the pressure and react (lightness without softness), but will never be heavy and and also completely committed, okay feeling and engaged with the activity (softness).

A lot of the time, a horse will learn lightness as a form of obedience.  They know that if they do X then Y will not happen (if they side pass, the leg will not push into their side.  If they go left on the line, the sound/whip/stick/flag will never engage).  But, when they practice this obedience, they do not necessarily feel okay about it (who would feel okay about simple avoidance, even if it was successful? Not me.) they simply learn that it works to avoid trouble.  Horses will do a lot to avoid trouble.

A really easy place to spot if a horse has changed their thought softly, or simply learned a light trick, is when asking a horse to go out on a circle on the line.  If you ask them to go left, and they go left immediately without any pressure on the line, follow up with a flag, etc, but also without looking and thinking left, that is lightness.  If they actually look to the left, organize themselves to get ready to go left, and go left with their body and mind, with complete intent and okay-ness about going left (and as a byproduct, with a really nice physical maneuver) that is softness.

So, back to the question.  My first thought when I read the question is that the reason it seems that lightness stays and softness doesn’t, is because lightness is a lot easier to get than softness.  It’s as simple as that.  Horses are amazing at staying out of trouble, and many will stay really light even when really worried. So, my guess is, the horses that are being referred to in the question have figured out the physical expectations of the exercises and to avoid  conflict, which to these particular horses is pressure, they are performing the action with a level of obedience that does not necessarily reflect their mental commitment to the task.

I think that it is natural that a horse that is used to obedience and lightness, not soft engagement, will come in and out of softness as they learn.  Being soft and focused and engaged is tiring and takes practice.  If that has never been a part of the program, it is natural to default to the easier task of lightness and obedience.  However, don’t read “easier” as “better.” It is only easier because that is what the horse is used to; it does not mean they feel good about things.  Quality horsemanship will try to show the horse that place of softness and engagement repeatedly, until the horse realizes how much better that feels than simply shutting down and becoming obedient.  Once a horse truly realizes this, they will search for this feeling, and the try will shift from being directed at avoiding trouble towards being with the person. 

I also think it takes practice from the person’s end.  I know very few riders who have thought to look for softness rather than lightness, and even fewer that have been taught to.  So, for the majority of us it is a very new and obscure thing to not simply look for obedience and lightness.  As with any new world view, it takes time to not only learn how to ask for softness, but even what that looks like in the first place!  My guess is the person asking the question is still experimenting with softness themselves, and so are inadvertently not particularly consistent about the level of expectation, and maybe miss moments when the horse isn’t fully engaged and soft.  This is completely okay, it’s part of the learning curve, and we as people are likely to regress to old habits the same way the horse is.  This doesn’t mean to stop aspiring to perfection, it just means that sometimes there might be setbacks between us and our horses, stemming from both ends of the relationship!

A horse that feels good will be soft and ready to try.  A horse that feels bad will be worried and simply trying to survive.  It’s as simple as that.  Those moments that feel wonderful for both the horse and the human probably mean the softness is going both ways, and that’s an amazing thing.  But it takes a while to recognize the difference between an obedient trick and a willing try.

This co-softness, of both the horse and human, mentioned above is the last part of the equation.  It’s hard to talk about directly because it feels very intangible, but I think it comes up in a lot of my writing on this blog, however inadvertently.  We must remember that our expectations of softness must not only be for the horse.  I know that those of us trained to ride seeking lightness (read: obedience), also learn a certain amount of dictatorship.  Because, only a dictator would seek obedience.  A leader with benevolence, compassion and clarity would seek engagement— a two way relationship—and this sort of leader is lives through softness themselves. 

Finding softness within ourselves is as difficult as finding it within the horse, particularly when we are working toward something specific from animal.  It’s easy to get fixated on goals and technique and forget the horse.  That is exactly the moment we (at least I) turn into a dictator, and the moment the horse stops trying and starts worrying about what the next moment might bring.  Instead, we must both look softly into the next thought, with clarity, intrigue and engagement, excited for what each conversation might bring.

Below, I’ve posted two photos.  One, of Eddie looking soft and interested in coming around the corner.  The other, of both Eddie and me looking into the future!

Good luck!
Also posted at www.threerivershorsetraining.blogspot.com

www.threerivershorsetraining.com

Who they are.

Here is something I posted on Facebook last year, and thought I would share again here.

A conversation that comes up a lot at the barn is what each person is looking for in a horse. To me, this is a very personal decision and it requires being very honest with yourself about what you want from your horsemanship, and your horse.
If horses are about riding for a particular purpose, whether in a show, on the job, or on the trail, you need to be realistic about what you can offer a horse and what your horse can offer you. There are plenty of horses that could do a specific job with a lot of work, support and the perfect rider combination, but otherwise will struggle to feel okay enough to perform. Other horses have physical limitations that determine what they can or cannot do. This doesn't make them bad horses, it just makes them who they are and in need of the right circumstance.
A lot of us might be able to offer these horses a great deal, if we are willing to live within what the horse needs and has to offer. This doesn't always match what we were hoping for, though. So then a decision has to be made by the person, as to whether it is the external goal that is important, or the journey with the horse. This is a personal decision, and has a lot to do with what the person is interested in.
I know fantastic riders who are primarily interested in going down the trail, doing a job, or showing. I don't have any problem with this. But I think it is important that they are matched with the right horse. A horse that can handle the pressure of the job, physically and emotionally, without a ton of support, and without worrying much. There are horses that can do this, with the right combination of personality and experience. There are other horses that may or may not still perform, but fall apart emotionally. And that's not fair to the horse.
For me, my interest for my personal horses is more in the journey, and I don't mind spending a long time working on emotional issues, physical challenges, or anything else that comes up. That's where my interest lies in horses at this point in my life, from the saddle or from the ground. Each horse that I own has it's own special strengths and limitations. My lesson horses have physical issues that limit how much riding they can do and determine their need for extra care, but they have unending patience and offer safety for their students. Among my personal horses, I have horses with physical and emotional issues that may or may not be resolvable, but hopefully are manageable in the long term. But they offer me a world of learning and they have no where else to go. I'm a last stop for them. And I'm happy with that, with who they are, and I think that I have enough to offer them to keep their quality of life.
So the question that I encourage everyone to ask when deciding on a horse to take home, or whether to keep one, is if your goals, and the effort you are willing to dedicate to the horse, match what that horse needs and who that horse is.